Kick in the Pants
by hatondog
Summary: In which I use Zoe to give Jo a well-deserved and long overdue kick in the you know what about you know who. A long one shot.


Kick in the Pants

It had been a great weekend. Zoe came home to Eureka for a celebration of her Dad's engagement to Allison. Dozens dined for hours on an endless array of Vincent's best then danced until dawn. As the sun rose, Jo drove Zoe to SARAH after dropping Zane at home.

"So, you're living with Zane now?" Zoe asked as they pulled away from the curb in front of Zane's place. Jo's fingers tightened on the steering wheel. "Zoe, I…we…," she began. Mercifully, Zoe cut her off. "It's ok, Jo. My dad told me about the whole timeline change thing. I get what you two were to each other." She touched Jo's arm briefly. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. It must have been tough."

"He did?" Jo said, startled. Then she blew out a sigh of relief and smiled. "Thanks, Zoe. It's getting better."

"It is? Really?" Zoe asked. Jo turned to her in surprise, then forced her eyes back on the road.

"Um, yeah. It is. Why?" Jo asked with a touch of uncertainty. "Did Zane say something?"

"No, no," Zoe said. "It's just…" she sighed. "Look, Jo. Forget it. None of my business."

"What?" Jo said softly. Zoe was quiet as they rolled past a block of darkened homes. "Zoe. Tell me. Please."

"OK. You asked. Remember what I asked you when we were trying to shut down Beverly at GD? If you loved Zane?" Zoe continued to look out the window.

"Yes," Jo said warily.

"You said you didn't know. If I asked you that question today, would you have an answer?" Jo began to stammer in response. "You see…" Zoe sighed. "This is _so _none of my business, I know. But I like Zane—just _like _him, that's all," she added quickly. "And I love you like my long lost sister." She paused, choosing her words. "Plus, as weird as it is to think about, I did sort of date Zane before I knew about you two, so I think I have a kind of unique perspective."

Jo nodded, gaze fixed on the road ahead. Zoe's tone grew more assertive as she spoke.

"He loves you. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. I can tell. Apparently, this makes it the _second_ time he's fallen for you. Yet it seems like you still don't know if you want him, for the long term anyway." She stopped to draw a deep breath.

"No doubt, Zane's far from perfect, but he's good guy. You have to know I think you're pretty wonderful too. All the "I used to have a crush on him" stuff aside, I'd really like to see two of my favorite people together. But you don't act like you're in love with him. You act like you're waiting to decide if he's good enough to stick around for. He's not stupid—he'll figure out what's going on if he hasn't already." Zoe bit her lip then finished her thought in a rush. "It's selfish, Jo. I never thought of you as a selfish person. But you're being one now."

It was light enough out by then that Zoe could see Jo's face clearly. Her expression was stony and she looked pale.

They pulled into the gravel clearing in front of SARAH. Jo stopped the car a few feet from the door.

"Like I said, it's none of my business," Zoe said quietly. "I hope you don't hate me, Jo. I might be wrong anyway. But if seeing things through the eyes of someone who loves you helps keep you from hurting each other? That could be worth a little hate coming my way." She climbed out of the car and stood for a moment before turning back. Leaning down, she spoke to the side of Jo's head.

"If you really want to be with Zane, I'll be first in line to dance at your wedding. But you don't have to love him just because you thought you did once, Jo. It's ok to let go. Don't hang on just because you can or think you should." Zoe shut the car door and walked into SARAH.

Jo watched until the bunker door closed then turned to stare into the surrounding woods. Although the sun had fully risen, the trees were in deep shadows. There was nothing much to look at, but she sat staring at the scenery for nearly an hour before slowly driving away.

Zane was asleep when she got home. His clothes were scattered in a path to the bedroom, where he'd fallen in a lump on the covers. Jo scanned his body and sighed. Whatever her feelings for Zane, her body was single-minded in its response to him. It would be so easy to give into the pull of attraction, to float along on a tide of lust without bothering to consider the bigger picture. Yet while Zoe might be wrong about many things, she was right about it being past time for Jo to give Zane a better idea of what she wanted.

Even so, nothing was going to be decided until they'd both slept off the effects of the night's festivities. Shedding her own clothes, Jo crossed to the bed. Zane was lying across it, making it impossible for her to crawl between the sheets. She blew out a sigh then tried to pull the blanket out from under him. When that failed, she tried to roll him over. He just swatted at her and snored on.

In the wake of Zoe's comments, lying uncovered beside him felt too exposed. Not to mention being certain to derail any chance of talking if he woke before she did. Waking him up had the same risk—Zane was rarely too exhausted to not take advantage of proximity to a naked Jo. But sleeping on the couch would raise too many questions.

While she was pondering her options, Zane suddenly groaned. He pitched himself off the bed and raced into the bathroom. Alarmed, Jo followed to find him retching into the toilet.

"Zane?" she called from the bathroom doorway. He waved her off with one hand and rested his head on the other.

"Don't feel good," he mumbled.

"I noticed," she answered. Pulling a towel from the rack, she ran it under the tap then handed it to him. "Here. Are you sick?" Frowning in concern, she ran a hand over his neck. He didn't feel feverish, but that didn't rule out illness. Stroking his back, she knelt beside him. "You're still a little shaky after that time in the matrix. With all the people at the party tonight, who knows what you might have been exposed to. If you can get up, I'll take you to the infirmary."

Zane shook his head violently then groaned again. "Not a bug," he said. "No infirmary. I just can't…" Before he could finish, he was sick again. Jo rewetted the towel and wiped it over his face. Zane gulped air. "Just can't drink," he finished. "Never could."

"You mean you're hungover?" Jo laughed then clapped her hand over her mouth. Zane glared at her without lifting his head. "I'm sorry," she giggled. "It's just…you look _so_ pathetic." He rolled his eyes then grabbed his head in pain.

"Thanks. Want to kick me while I'm down here, or have you had your fun?" he growled.

"No," Jo grinned. "That'll do for now." She gripped under his arms and pulled. "C'mon, you'll feel better in bed."

Zane started to stand then sank back to the floor. "I think I'll stay here. Really get to know this tile." He gestured toward the wall next to him then closed his eyes.

"It's slate," Jo observed.

"You don't say." He stayed put.

"OK, party boy. Save your strength. I'll be back in a minute." Jo went to the kitchen for a glass of juice and a handful of Advil. When she came back, Zane was on his feet but hanging white-knuckled onto the counter.

"Take this. Drink slowly or it'll come right back up," Jo instructed.

"Thanks for the visual," he muttered. After finishing the juice, he smiled sheepishly. "No, seriously. Thanks, Jo." She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Um, yeah. I'll brush my teeth now."

"You do that. I'll start the shower," she said, patting his arm.

When Zane went into the shower, Jo followed. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest as the water ran over his back. "Feeling better?" she asked softly.

"Guess I won't be dying today. I should have known better than to trust Vince's homebrew. I'm sorry you had to see that. Real sexy, huh?" Zane asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes. It was," answered Jo.

Zane gave a snort of disbelief. "Pretty strange kink, Lupo." She punched his shoulder.

"It's just kind of nice to take care of you, that's all." Zane smiled down at her. "Seems I haven't been taking care of you enough."

He raised an eyebrow in response. "I don't remember ever needing you to hold me up through a hangover," he said.

"No, it's not that. Although you never could drink. You get woozy from cold medicine." She shook her head. "I mean, since you've been back. I don't think I've really made it clear..." she hesitated then forced the words out. "What us being together means to me."

She looked up at Zane. All traces of humor were gone from his face. He stepped forward, maneuvering them away from the water.

"Which is what?" he asked. She hesitated at his stern expression.

"Let's get dried off first," she said.

"No, this is fine." As if to keep her from moving away, Zane pulled her tighter against him. "What does this mean to you, Jo?"

"Well, it's different," she said. "Than before." She looked away. "I didn't tell you, but we lived together then too. And it was fun, but sort of like playing house. It felt more like a break from our lives than a permanent part of them. I think that's why I couldn't answer when you—the _other_ you—proposed. It didn't seem real."

"And now?" Zane asked.

"Now it does. This is real." She ran her hands down his chest, still not looking up. "And it scares the _hell _out of me." Her voice was hoarse but emphatic. Zane tipped her head up until their eyes met.

"Me too, JoJo," he said, brushing his lips across hers.

She closed her eyes, whispering, "I want to make this work." But as she leaned against him again, he pulled back. Her eyes flew open, then widened at his frown.

"What?" she asked.

"Is this another challenge for you, Jo? Do you want to be with me or are you just trying to better your score from before, with the other Zane?" Zane's voice was calm, but his expression was grim.

"You can't be serious," she breathed.

"Yeah, I can. I appreciate what you've said, Jo, really I do. But you have to admit that your enthusiasm for any kind of commitment between us has been a little underwhelming at times." Now Zane looked away. "Sometimes it feels like you're going through the motions. Like you're waiting to decide if I'm good enough."

Jo was rattled by the echo of Zoe's earlier words. She took a step back and reached for a towel. Zane turned the water off, creating a hollow silence in the tiled shower. Jo pulled the towel around her then looked back at him.

"I'm sorry if I've made you feel like I was holding you up to some litmus test," she said quietly. "I've been scared to fail again, that's all. _Not_ because I want to beat some track record, but because failing this time will mean losing us for good." Jo bit her lip then spoke in a low, emphatic voice. "I'm not _good_ at being scared, Zane. I take charge and push through scary situations until they're fixed. But there's no way to force a solution here. It—_we_—may not work at all. It's going to take time to know for sure. So we have to wait." She shrugged. "I'm not all that good at waiting, either."

"I know," said Zane flatly. "So your goal isn't just to change the outcome from before, with the other me? Which will never stop being a weird thing to say, by the way."

"Well, unless you know a way to time jump again with a broken Bridge device, I'm pretty sure we won't get the _same _outcome to my last relationship with you," she hedged. Zane shrugged off her comment.

"Mmm," he answered. "So, if I were to get down on one knee here, wet and naked in a cold shower, and ask you to marry me, what would you say?" She froze, mouth open. She'd never imagined him going so quickly to a nuclear option. She could only gape as he slowly lowered himself to one knee and took her hand.

"Are you asking?" Jo stammered.

"I'm asking what you would say," Zane responded.

She looked at him. Water plastered his hair to his head and was dripping down his neck. His expression was unreadable.

"That floor is rough—it has to hurt. Stand up," she said, pulling on his arm. Zane shook his head stubbornly.

"What's your answer, Jo?" he asked again.

She sighed. "All right," she said. She dropped to both knees and captured Zane's face between her hands. "My answer is that I want you to ask me that question some day when I'm able to say yes and have us both mean it. That day hasn't come yet, but I hope it will if we do this right."

"What does doing it right look like?" Zane said.

"Well, getting dry and in bed for starters. It's been a long night and we've both got to get some sleep. After that, we take it day by day, at least until we're sure if we want to take it year by year."

He looked at her for a long while, then nodded. "Fair enough." Then he smiled broadly. "Anything I can do in the short term? To help you sleep?" His look became lecherous.

"Yes," she purred, then gave him a shove. "Don't hog the covers."

"Your wish is my command," he grinned.

"Don't I _wish,"_ Jo sighed.

When they got into bed, Jo made a show of pulling the covers over both of them as Zane smirked. Then she relaxed into his arms and watched the play of lights from passing cars over the bedroom window.

"You know…" she spoke slowly, her fingers worrying the bedspread fabric. "My house will be finished soon. Next week." She felt Zane stiffen beside her.

"So you're moving out?" He was trying for a casually interested tone, but his voice was strained.

"Well, it depends. Do you like dojos?" Zane turned to her in confusion.

"What? Why? What difference does _that _make?"

"It's just that my new house has a _great _dojo in the basement. And a fully equipped gym, with an ab crunch accessory for my new weight machine." She gestured around the room. "You don't have much room for that kind of thing here, do you?"

He looked around, realization starting to dawn.

"No, now that you mention it, there isn't that much space here. I don't know how I never noticed that before." He looked at her suitcases spilling onto the floor. "Must be the mountain of clothes over there that really highlights the lack of room."

Jo rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Anyway, as I was saying. I have a dojo. And it has mats down from wall to wall. Very _cushy _mats," she said significantly. Zane's grin widened.

"Why, Chief Lupo. Are you asking me to move in with you? Aren't there like a dozen rules against a plebian lab rat like me living in _management_ digs?" he teased.

"Not if the lab rat's purpose is to _service_ management," Jo said with a grin.

"I'll have to check my job description." With that, Zane leaned in for a long, deep kiss. Long before he was ready to stop, Jo yawned widely. She clapped a hand over her mouth. Zane laughed at her horrified expression.

"Jo, I just _hurled_ in front of you. Yawning mid-kiss is way, way down the breach of etiquette list. Let's go to sleep so we can pick up where we left off when I have the juice to do something about it."

"Deal," Jo answered. As she snuggled deeper under the blanket, she added, "Zoe will have to get dancing shoes."

"Huh?" Zane asked sleepily.

"Never mind," she murmured. As she intertwined her fingers with his, they drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: I actually intended to break them up for good with this. They just wouldn't cooperate. I also tried to make more than a conversation happen in that shower, but my M rated muse is in hiding, alas.**


End file.
